In the daily Oval Office briefing, Robert Gates reports, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" dropping his head to his hands.
The inner circle is stunned by this display of emotion, nervously watching until, finally, the President looks up and asks, "Tell me again, Condi, how many is a brazillion?"
Yes, sometimes big stupid numbers just make you want to cry.
I was reminded of this reading a bulletin from an e-discovery service provider this evening, reporting on the court's ruling in civil suit alleging retalitory firng, Haka v. Lincoln County, 2007 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 64480 (W.D.Wis. Aug. 29, 2007) (opinion available at http://www.electronicdiscoveryblog.com/cases/haka.pdf.
Summarizing the decision, the bulletin stated, "Documents responsive to this request, which existed on two external hard drives containing about four terabytes of data extracted from computer servers, accounted for approximately 500 billion typewritten pages."
500 billion pages.
Actually, the opinion stated (in a footnote), "A terabyte is 1024 gigabytes, more than a trillion bytes, equivalent to 500 billion typewritten pages"
So, if the bulletin hadn't been so off track in its math, I assume it would have unquestioningly reported that four terabytes is approximately 2 trillion typewritten pages.
Trillion, with capital T, that rhymes with B, that stands for...BULLSHIT! (Here in Texas that is not profanity but a song lyric from the Cotton Eyed Joe sung by nice little old ladies line dancing in gingham skirts).
Hello? Hello? Does anyone for a second believe that there could be 2 trillion or 500 billion or even 500 million pages of documents and e-mails on those two drives? If you could generate a page a second, it would take more than fifteen centuries to reach 500 billion pages, assuming you didn't stop to scratch. If every book cataloged in the Library of Congress (20,532,692) were as long as War and Peace (1,296 pages), that's not even 27 billion pages.
I know how we got here (see http://www.lawtechnews.com/r5/showkiosk.asp?listing_id=1606423), but when, oh when, will the madness end?
And if you're ever in western Wisconsin, stop by Lincoln County. Nice place. You can't miss it. Just look for the pile of paper..stretching to the moon.
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